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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25437220">Purrincess Diaries</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeringoodfaith/pseuds/writeringoodfaith'>writeringoodfaith</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Love Square Multi-Chaps [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adrienette (Miraculous Ladybug), Adrigami and Lukanette Ship Destruction Assured, Beta-read by Captain_Meowvel, Diary fic, F/M, LOVE SQUARE LIFE, Ladrien (Miraculous Ladybug), Ladynoir (Miraculous Ladybug), Lukanette (Miraculous Ladybug), Marichat (Miraculous Ladybug), Marimouse, Marinette's diary, PS that means adrigami and lukanette will appear, Romance/Humour, don't cry promise it'll be ok, love square shenanigans, post-season 3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:14:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,022</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25437220</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeringoodfaith/pseuds/writeringoodfaith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm the Guardian now and Tikki says I need a way to better manage stress. She recommended diary writing to help validate my feelings. So... if that's you Alya just casually turning the page, keep reading ONLY if you wanna ruin our friendship. And Chat Noir? Curiosity really might kill a cat if he puts his paws where he shouldn't. Consider yourself warned.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Love Square Multi-Chaps [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1795363</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>122</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>250</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A Stray Cat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello there! It's pre-written so if ya like it subscribe for weekly updates. ;)<br/>Beta'd by the one and only Captain Meowvel!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dear Diary,</p><p>Tikki says that self-reflection is a good way to process and de-stress. I think I sometimes just need a judgment-free zone to be my most rambling, ineloquent, overthinking self. Alya has her Ladyblog to voice her opinion on all the things she cares about. (So obviously it features a completely fanciful relationship between my superhero self and Chat Noir.)</p><p>I've got you, dear diary — armed with a little booby trap for any unsuspecting creepers. Thanks for confirming it works, Sabrina Raincomprix!</p><p>It's been a while since I've last written so perhaps we should become reacquainted?</p><p>If life was a fighting game these would be my stats:</p><p>Fighter: Marinette Dupain-Cheng<br/>
Special Ability: Never-ending optimism<br/>
Weakness: Punctuality</p><p>Or maybe it'd be more like this:</p><p>Fighter: Ladybug<br/>
Special Ability: Creating more responsibilities for myself<br/>
Weakness: Endless fatigue</p><p>I <em>am</em> tired - to my very bones. I'm exhausted from having so many responsibilities, of needing to be brave all the time, of never being able to be who I truly am. I'm not just Marinette Dupain-Cheng - all-around klutz, aspiring fashion designer and awkward human being. I'm also Ladybug - superheroine of Paris, suave, smart and …so …so unable to do this all by myself.</p><p>Well, that didn't take long to turn into a depresso espresso. To be completely honest, I haven't been feeling the best lately. Not since becoming the new Guardian. Master Fu lost his memory, but I can't forget the image of his shield breaking. Nor how helpless I felt as I watched the pointed stinger of the amok attack him again… and again. Tikki says -</p><p>...sorry about the interruption. A stray cat came by my rooftop to check on me - he noticed Multimouse wasn't at the Miracle Queen battle. I have to say I was a little surprised. I totally missed that "Marinette" should've been there as Multimouse, but I think I managed to cover myself.</p><p>I was like: what battle?</p><p>Which was, well… <em>okay</em> - not my best work, but a whole lot better than blurting out I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU and Papa getting a little too onboard the Chat Noir train. Don't I suffer enough with the Ladyblog constantly posting photos out of context?</p><p>Some days I wonder if getting better at lying is something to be proud of. Now that I'm the Guardian, maybe I have to be a good liar. It goes against everything I believe in though because I HATE Lila - I mean LIARS! The last thing I want is to add "Lady Hypocrite" to my list of alter egos.</p><p>Anyway, where was I? - Tikki says writing about my feelings will help me to feel more validated.</p><p>My feelings, hmm?</p><p>I feel bad that my Multimouse oversight worried Chat enough to check on me in the first place. He seemed so relieved I hadn't gotten hurt.</p><p>After I gave my "brilliant" excuse, he stepped right up to me, opened his arms and I kid you not, I SWEAR he was going in for a hug. But then his eye twitched, his face underwent some kind of convulsion and instead gave me a pat on the head.</p><p>… I thought <em>he</em> was the cat?!</p><p>"I'm glad you're okay, <em>Marimouse</em>," he told me with a wink.</p><p>Ugh. Marimouse? Like I need another silly nickname from him. I think I may have groaned out loud, but he just looked chuffed. The corner of his lips slid into an easy smile as his eyes bore down on me with the full force of Chat Noir's charm. Puppy eyes? Please. Whoever thought of that phrase has not seen this kitty.</p><p>That's when I realised three things. First, Chat Noir is a lot taller than me; like, I actually FELT that Marimouse nickname. The top of my head barely grazes his chin and his chest is at eye-level with my face. Second, his green eyes are so luminescent in the dark that they practically glow. How had I never noticed that before? Third - and this I realised partially from the teasing and partially from the head-pat - Chat Noir is pretty comfortable with me. As in civilian me. Which is kind of a nice thought.</p><p>We were chatting on my balcony for a while. It shouldn't be too surprising considering Chat and I have always gotten along outside of akuma battles. Especially when he tones down the flirting. I'd even consider him a friend.</p><p>I promised to sneak him something from the bakery the next time he visits. After a bit of prodding on my part, he confessed he was particularly fond of our macarons. Oh - I forgot to ask him what his favourite flavour was! I must fix that the next time I see him as Marinette.</p><p>Anyway, it was getting late, so I bid farewell to Chat and when it was his turn to say goodbye, instead he told me I looked <em>purretty</em> <em>cute</em> with my hair down.</p><p>Yes. "Purretty cute."</p><p>He's such a flirt.</p><p>But I have to admit, it was awfully nice of Chat to visit tonight. And now that I've written all this out, I do kind of feel a bit better. I suppose Chat's visit helped me to realise that although I may not have Master Fu to turn to anymore, I'm not really alone. I have my trusted partner, Chat Noir.</p><p>He really is a great superhero. Perceptive. Noble. Caring enough to check up on random civilians like me.</p><p>I don't know what the future holds, but it can't be that bad with Chat by my side, can it?</p><p>(And she's back! Player Number 1 Marinette Dupain-Cheng enters the arena and plays her Special Ability: never-ending optimism. It's a CRITICAL HIT! Hawk Moth takes SEVERE DAMAGE!)</p><p>I'm grateful for my kitty.</p><p>Bug out!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Island of Ambiguity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dear Diary,</p><p>I'm sneaking in an entry during lunch because I must update you with this most important piece of news. When I arrived at school this morning (slipping right into the classroom just before the bell went off), Adrien turned around in his seat and asked me how my evening was.</p><p>HE asked ME. How. My. Evening. Was!</p><p>Do you think people asking other people how their evening was is normal conversation between two pals? Two friends? Two mates? Because I think - and hear me out here - I think that someone wondering what someone else was doing at night means that they were thinking about them. Which means that Adrien Agreste was thinking about what I was doing at night. Those night hours make up a large portion of the time we spend apart... Do you think this means he's in love with me?</p><p>I will add this incident to my pile of potential evidence that he's ready for me to declare my undying love for him. Yes, the evidence pile shrunk considerably after that incident at the wax museum, or really, the earth-shattering moment in his car when he casually flung about the words "the girl I love." I'm pretty sure that's Kagami. And to make matters worse, yes, he was… getting all… canoodly with her when they shared an ice cream and you know what? I don't like where these thoughts are going and I'm going to make the executive decision to no longer explore them.</p><p>In between what I saw with my own eyes and what might actually be there lies space for ambiguity. And ambiguity, my dear diary, is where hope lives. And it is to that happy paradisiacal island that I - Marinette Dupain-Cheng - have spent so much time that my beachside hut now looks more like a five-star resort. Interior design and all. I'm good at that stuff, ya know?</p><hr/><p>I have a hypothetical question. Is it possible to know for sure - with utter, absolute certainty - that you are in love with someone and only them, while also maybe having … feelings … kind of familiar feelings … stir wistfully in your chest at particularly tender moments?</p><p>Because, hypothetically speaking, I had such a moment during my guitar lesson with Luka this afternoon.</p><p>The tips of my fingers on my left hand burn like nobody's business. He assures me calluses will form and this will hurt less over time.</p><p>But speaking of calluses - and this is where it gets tricky - there was kind of a moment during the guitar lesson, right when I was complaining about not having the appropriate thickened skin to ever get a bar chord down. He chuckled at my declarations of doom and then took my hand off the guitar strings. Spreading his own fingers, he gently pressed the underside of his fingernails flush against my fingertips. His skin was so thick there I bet if I poked a sewing needle at it, the needle would bounce. When I said that out loud he laughed at me. And then after he finished laughing, I looked up at him and my face started to burn under his easy smile. And then I realised I was still holding his hand.</p><p>I mean, I was feeling his calluses, for musicianship purposes. But we were also holding hands.</p><p>Eventually, I pulled my hand back and returned it to the guitar, figuring he wouldn't comment on my likeness to a beetroot if I just acted casually.</p><p>He did not comment.</p><p>Being with Luka is so easy. It's like that melody he played for me the other day. He asks me whether I'm ready before he plays. He sees the little things about me. He accepts me. For who I am. Surely that counts for something?</p><p>Anyway. This was entirely hypothetical.</p><p>Bug out!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Teamwork Makes the Dream Work</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dear Diary,</p><p>Do you ever have days where you wake up, roll out of bed and somehow know from the bottom of your toes to the tip of your almost-callused fingertips that today is going to be a good day?</p><p>I felt that today. And boy, I was not wrong.</p><p>It didn't start out that way though. It all began with Alya throwing me to the wolves in geography.</p><p>"Hey girl, I'm gonna partner with Nino for the group assignment," she announced, giving me literally three seconds notice before the rest of the class started pairing up like lovebirds.</p><p>You see, Alya and I have a system. We've <em>always </em>been partners. And when she started dating Nino that didn't change. We know how each other works (she's an early bird; I'm a night owl. I'm good at big picture thinking; she's good at proofreading for detail. I'm on graphics; she's on figuring out a timeline to keep us both on track. We're like a nice top and jeans. Like red and navy blue. Like the Ladybug and Chat Noir partnership. Why fix what isn't broken? Why throw me into this position of so much uncertainty? Why, Alya, whyyy?)</p><p>I looked to my right - Alix and Mylene were partnering up. In front of them - Chloe and Sabrina were doing the same (actually the last time I was put with those two things were  t e r r i b l e  so honestly, my eyes didn't linger there for long). I was trying to figure out the best way to approach Ivan and how we would work together when Alya snapped her fingers in front of my face, bringing my attention to the people sitting in front of - oh.</p><p>Adrien was rubbing the nape of his neck, blessing me with that adorkably shy smile of his. And a question came out from his sweet lips that I'd only ever heard in my dreams.</p><p>"Hey Marinette, will you be my partner?"</p><p>I'm not entirely sure what happened next. I may have spaced out. But in no particular order, I do recall Mylene returning an eraser which potentially hit her on the head, Adrien smiling at me (to be honest, this is the event I remember most clearly - have I told you before that when he smiles with his top teeth peeking through a little THAT'S one way to know his smile's genuine?) and tripping over my own feet as I made my way to Nino's newly vacated seat. Bah, details. Point is: I said "yes" (or according to Alya, I let out a strangled squeak that kinda sounded like a "yes") and also, Adrien smiled at me.</p><p>Okay, Adrien's looking over, I'd better write actual notes for this assignment and not just updates on my love life.</p><p>…</p><p>It would be a disaster if we didn't do well in the first assignment we had.</p><p>I NEED TO PAY ATTENTION!</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Marinette's Geography Notes</span>
</p><ul>
<li>Due in one month</li>
<li>Topic: choose your own - any aspect of the urban landscape of Paris</li>
<li>Word count: 2,500 word report (to be submitted - worth 50%) AND 10 minute co-op presentation to the rest of the class (25% weighting)</li>
<li>MUST INCLUDE FIELD RESEARCH AND PHOTOGRAPHS IN AN APPENDIX (also 25% weighting!)</li>
</ul><hr/><p>
  <em>Hey Adrien, while we're watching this documentary, do you wanna start brainstorming assignment ideas? I'd really like to do well for the assignment.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sure, Marinette! What an awesome idea. I'm really looking forward to this. It seems kind of fun.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I think so too! I love Paris. I'm excited to basically write a paper about how much I love our city.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Don't you think we need some kind of angle for our paper though?</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Hmm. You're right. That would make it more engaging and help us to meet the criteria better.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>I have an idea, but we definitely don't have to use it.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm all ears!</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>How about we base our assignment on unpacking the city's moniker: The City of Lights.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I love it!</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Really? We don't have to do it if you've got any other ideas.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>No, I really love it! See I'm thinking we can do it in two parts: (1) the historical reasons why Paris got the nickname and we can feature all of the ancient streetlamps and anything like that we can find and (2) the bright lights of Paris that help the moniker work in today's modern context e.g. the Louvre pyramid and the Eiffel Tower at night!</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>That's a great idea, Marinette! </strong>
</p><p><em>It was </em>your <em>great idea! I just added some embellishments. </em></p><p><strong>It was </strong><em><strong>our</strong></em> <strong>great idea. We came up with it together. I'm really glad we're partners, Marinette, it's gonna be great!</strong></p><hr/><p>It was a little sneaky of me, but I got Adrien's handwriting in my diary. Risky, yes. If he turned to any of the previous pages, I would in fact totally be dead right now from shame. But if you want big rewards you've gotta put yourself on the line.</p><p>And that I did.</p><p>He wrote my name down <em>three </em>times. Three times! I have his handwriting of my name. Like a personal autograph.</p><p>I wonder if I could get him to write his full name and I could bequeath myself a new last name in his handwriting.</p><p>
  <em>Marinette Agreste</em>
</p><p>It's got a certain ring to it, doesn't it? A certain flair, but also naturalness?</p><p>And I LOVE his idea! Though I think I might have an unfair advantage at getting good photographs. I, who have seen the City of Lights from many impossible vantage points for normal civilians.</p><p>What if he asks how I got them?</p><p>Ah, I can feel Tikki's disapproving little frown just thinking about it.</p><p>It was a nice thought though. We're going to meet up this weekend for our first field trip for our assignment. It's for school! Not even the super strict Gabriel Agreste can say no. I'm so excited. Omg, what will I wear? Do you think I should do my hair differently? Leave it out or something? Do you think Adrien will like it?</p><p>… why am I asking you, you're an inanimate object. I'm going to ask Alya!</p><p>Bug out!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A City of Romance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dear Diary,</p><p>Today I made a very important discovery.</p><p>ADRIEN AND KAGAMI ARE NOT DATING.</p><p>I repeat. ADRIEN AND KAGAMI ARE NOT OFFICIALLY DATING!</p><p>To be fair, they're about as close to it as can be. Like they're otters, holding hands as they travel merrily down the dam. So alike. So together. So cute that media outlets and commenters collectively went "aww" when that picture of them was snapped as they chatted after fencing practice. BUT - as Adrien told me today, they are not <em>official</em>. She asked him to be her boyfriend, but he told me he told HER he had to think about it.</p><p>And so my dream lives on.</p><p>Even if it feels like Adrien and I are like the Titanic and New York. He's chugging along, but he'll never reach me because there's an iceberg in the way. And the iceberg is just chilling there, in the middle of the ocean, waiting for him to get back to her.</p><p>But right now - at this exact moment in time - there's a chance that Adrien can avoid the iceberg. There's a chance that Adrien isn't interested in the iceberg. And that chance alone is enough for the endless optimist in me to remain hopeful.</p><p>Kagami is a lot like Adrien in some ways, with her upbringing, her hobbies and her talents. She's confident, assertive, dexterous and reliable. And by the way, Adrien may be the boy of my dreams, but Kagami is my friend so if you were expecting to read anything bad about her in my diary, you'd be sorely mistaken.</p><p>But Adrien isn't defined by his upbringing or celebrity status or even his hobbies. I think the true mark of a person is how they act when nobody is looking. And when nobody was looking, Adrien took it upon himself to correct a misunderstanding and offer an olive branch (aka an umbrella) for friendship. I still have that umbrella. And whenever it rains, I'm reminded of how wonderful he is.</p><p>And today it poured.</p><p>Literally.</p><p>But this time, <em>I</em> brought the umbrella!</p><p>Here's how our fieldwork outing went down.</p><p>Adrien ran a hand through his disheveled blond hair as I fumbled through my backpack to retrieve the umbrella. His eyes lit up as I pulled out the black object. "You've got an umbrella!" he exclaimed, then added, "I was going to ask if we should reschedule."</p><p>Before I could stop myself, I said, "Like, take a rain check?"</p><p>Laughter burst from his lips, loud and hearty, and I almost dropped my umbrella from the sheer suddenness of it. "Exactly," he croaked out.</p><p>An answering grin soon found itself on my lips and after some fumbling on my end, we were huddling together under the umbrella.</p><p>And he was close.</p><p>So very close.</p><p>He was so breathtakingly close, and slightly damp, and I could smell his namesake cologne on him. What the fifteen cologne samples in the department stores scattered amongst my belongings failed to convey however was how the scent of the <em>Adrien the Fragrance </em>would mix with his own natural musk. And lead to utter devastation.</p><p>I shivered, and he must have noticed - maybe even felt it - because immediately he said, "Just let me know if you'd rather not spend the day tramping through wet streets, okay?"</p><p>But I gestured to my pink gumboots and though I may have stuttered to get there, I eventually got out, "I'm prepared!"</p><p>Because honestly, this morning when I checked the weather forecast I decided a little inclement weather was NOT going to stop my not-a-date date with Adrien. My opportunity to spend one-on-one time with him!</p><p>And now we had to spend it in close proximity under the umbrella.</p><p>So really, this rain was a blessing in disguise, helping me live out my daydream fantasies where we'd stroll around arm in arm, keeping dry and warm as the rain made a pitter-patter on the umbrella above us and the pavement beneath. And then Adrien would lower the canopy to shield our faces from prying eyes, and I'd tiptoe to reach his lips, and then - OH, RIGHT. Back to what actually happened.</p><p>"A little water never hurt anybody," he said. And so we ventured forth.</p><p>I had pre-planned our route to cover some ye olden times light fixtures and Adrien insisted on ducking out of the cover of the umbrella to get the best shots.</p><p>At one point, I had to stop him from lying in a puddle to get the angle "just right."</p><p>Who knew Adrien Agreste was so into photography? Maybe his 51st birthday present can be a photography-related one?</p><p>Even though I intervened before he could manage some of his more extreme goals (I also convinced him to not climb a lamppost to get a close-up of the light bulb), the photographs turned out really amazing. And the city in the rain was such a unique perspective! His camera even captured raindrops. He truly has a gift and it was inspiring to watch him work.</p><p>But my favourite part of the not-date date was seeing Adrien look so uninhibited. Gone were the perfectly styled 32 spikes of hair - in its place, a moppy, wet mess that somehow only looked cuter. And as he gallivanted about the place, his smiling face brightening up Paris's gloomy skies, my heart warmed at the sight.</p><p>At the end of the day, he turned the camera around to face us and snapped a selfie. He said he wanted to document this moment. I threw a peace sign up. But not even that could save me from what should be labelled "the awkwardest smile ever caught on camera". And awkwardness notwithstanding, HE POSTED IT ON HIS INSTAGRAM AND TAGGED ME! It was the first time I appeared on his feed. It made me so happy.</p><p>And that wrapped up our day. Now, here I sit, freshly showered, warm and at my desk, writing it all out as Tikki sits by my side reading my history textbook and occasionally letting out little "that's not <em>quite</em> how that happened" harrumphs.</p><p>Today was absolutely perfect.</p><p>Maybe instead of "A City of Lights" we should have gone for unpacking the moniker "A City of Romance." You can't see it, diary, but I am winking at you.</p><p>Until next time.</p><p>Bug out!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Clear as Mud</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dear Diary,</p><p>During my guitar lesson with Luka today, I was learning the rhythm of the strumming to a song and just not feeling the tempo.</p><p>Up up down, up down, down, down up I recited to myself. But as soon as I stopped mouthing the strumming pattern along, I lost it completely. The corner of Luka's mouth lifted in amusement as my efforts to get the rhythm going turned more desperate. I may have been yelling the UP and DOWN's at some point. He placed a hand on my guitar to interrupt what was fast turning into guitar abuse, and with relief I took that as permission to take a break. He then asked, "Hey Marinette, would you like to get together again this Saturday?"</p><p>And lil old naive me went, "Yeah! For sure, Luka!" thinking that we were going to have another music lesson to practice, because I sure needed it.</p><p>But I swear he can read my mind, or at least can speak Marinette because he felt the need to clarify. "I meant as a date."</p><p>"A … date...?"</p><p>He just nodded in confirmation and continued, "No pressure either way, but I won some Clara Nightingale tickets and I thought you would enjoy coming along."</p><p>That's when the blushing started. And in my haste to cover my heating cheeks (dang it, Papa, why did I have to inherit your emotional thermometer?), the pick I was holding made a soft clunk as it landed in the hollow of my guitar. It was a disaster! I spent the next minute rummaging through my guitar for that pesky pick. First, I tried using my hand. (For future reference, my hand definitely does not fit around the strings.) Then, I tried using my fingers. (Also for future reference, my fingers definitely do not reach the back of the guitar.) And the whole time I'm trying to play Operation and surgically remove the pick from the body of the guitar without damaging either, he's just sitting there, waiting patiently.</p><p>Luka Couffaine is such a great guy.</p><p>He's got teal-tipped hair that matches his jacket and the print on his shirt. I love his sense of style.</p><p>He's got a way of listening to you that makes you feel like he can hear more than what you're saying. He can hear the heart of you, not just the words that come out of your mouth. I love how perceptive he is.</p><p>His guitar is an extension of his arm, the music an extension of his voice. I love listening to him play.</p><p>I've been so lucky to have such a great guitar teacher. And friend.</p><p><em>Friend</em>.</p><p>I love a lot of things about Luka, but I do not know whether I am in love with him.</p><p>My Rescue-The-Jagged-Stone-Pick Operation reached new heights as I realised I'd have to tip the guitar over and gently shake the pick out of the guitar. It was looking less like surgery and more like a beating.</p><p>But that's when it dawned on me. Maybe going out on a date with Luka would be good for me. I do like spending time with him. A little part of my mind screams (BUT ADRIEN) and to that part I yell back, ADRIEN DOESN'T LIKE YOU, HE LIKES KAGAMI. I saw him pull a pink rose out of his locker at school today and fiddle with it as he waited for fencing practice to start.</p><p>And well, I think dating and getting to know Luka could be good for me. I don't spend one on one time with a lot of guys - not unless we count Chat. Which I don't - because we're fighting supervillains and he's trying to hit on me and - ugh. You know, to Chat, I am Ladybug, Superheroine of Paris. Always there with a solution to save the day. Like the rest of Paris, Chat Noir relies on me. And I'd hate to disappoint him.</p><p>Luka makes me feel like I could never disappoint him.</p><p>As I shook the guitar (with the same care I would extend to a newborn baby) the Jagged Stone pick fell into my lap and Jagged smirked up at me from his headshot of purple eyeshadow and spiky hair. I <em>picked</em> it up (<em>badum tsss</em>), and presented it to Luka, who just laughed at me.</p><p>His eyes crinkled fondly as he looked at me. "Only you could drop a pick into a guitar."</p><p>And I found my answer.</p><p>"Yes," I blurted out. He tilted his head to the side, and I found the courage to continue. "Yes, I'll go on a date with you on Saturday."</p><p>In response, his eyes fluttered to a close and a smile grew along his face. On his own guitar, he plucked five notes. He then plucked them again, swapping the final note for a higher one. As the melody took shape and flowed merrily on, I recognized my song.</p><p>Opening his eyes to look at me, the melody of my heart - as he so poetically put it - drew to a close. His smile grew into a grin. "I look forward to it." A final dulcet chord echoed his statement.</p><p>Then we went back to our lesson, which passed by in a flash.</p><p>Since saying yes, I've been thinking about whether I made the right decision. I hope it never becomes awkward between us. Not just because he's my guitar teacher, but he's also Juleka's brother, he's also in Kitty Section (which kind of makes him my client?) and he's also my friend.</p><p>Oh no, why didn't I think of these things <em>before</em> I got carried away by the moment and said yes?</p><p>Is it too late to cancel?</p><p>Can I take it back?</p><p>Did I do the right thing?</p><p>…</p><p>No. Why am I stressing out? Tikki thinks Luka is a nice boy and going out on a date with him will be a fun experience. To be fair, I think she'd say this about anyone who could hook us up with free Clara Nightingale tickets. My little kwami is super into Big Bang at the moment. And anyway, it's just one date, right?</p><p>It'll be great.</p><p>I've got six days to emotionally prepare myself for the event.</p><p>And another geography outing with Adrien after school tomorrow - purely business. You understand.</p><p>I'll bring my diary along!</p><p>It'll be fine!</p><p>This lady doth NOT protest too much!</p><p>Bug out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Jitters and Late Night Visitors</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Surprise! Double length chapter ;)</p><p>It's my birthday tomorrow so this Marichat chapter is almost like a gift to myself. Hehe.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dear Diary,</p><p>I CAN'T BELIEVE I LOST YOU!</p><p>These past four days have been absolute agony.</p><p>I was going crazy looking for you. My room was upended, every potted plant on my balcony migrated a foot to the right in case you got buried underneath the terracotta. Somehow?! Things that are lost are always in the last place that you look! I even re-organised my fabric collection in case it had flung into that corner of my bedroom by mistake and was hiding amongst the chiffon and linen scraps.</p><p>And do you know where you were, all this time?</p><p>In Adrien Agreste's car! Oh, I could die of embarrassment. It must've fallen out of my bag when his driver/bodyguard gave me a lift home after our geography outing.</p><p>He returned it to me this morning with an awkward explanation about finding it in his car and being sorry for not being able to hand it back to me sooner.</p><p>At least the lock hasn't been tampered with. I checked it as he handed it to me. And only a kwami could open this lock without damaging it.</p><p>This was so STRESSFUL<em>. </em></p><p>I will never lose you again.</p><hr/><p>I've had you back for just over twenty-four hours and already I am ready to pour my heart out to you.</p><p>I'm nervous about my date with Luka tomorrow.</p><p>I spent the afternoon digging through my wardrobe for the perfect First Date outfit. The weather is getting warmer so I decided on a spring dress. It's navy blue with an A-line skirt and a keyhole back. But my favourite part of the dress is the red leafy pattern throughout. If I pair it with a red headband to tie the look together and sneakers for comfort, it should be good!</p><p>...</p><p>Or will I look too dressed up? I've been scrutinizing this outfit for half an hour in front of my mirror and I don't feel any closer to the answer to that question.</p><p>You know this is the first date I've ever been on, technically?</p><p>I'm not sure visiting Chat Noir's candle-lit rooftop twice quite counts. Or that breakfast affair supervised by my parents. Or that time he "rescued" me from Evillustrator. Why do all my almost-dates involve that silly kitty?</p><p>I think I just heard a knock. Was that my skylight? Wait... I'd know that mop of blond hair anywhere.</p><p>Speak of the devil!</p><hr/><p>So, my favourite stray cat just came calling again tonight. It has been a while since he last visited! Tonight, I stayed up there a lot longer than I planned to.</p><p>I kind of made it a whole affair. When I was grabbing leftover baked goods, I figured - in for a penny, in for a pound - and prepped hot chocolate for us to enjoy too.</p><p>When I came up to the rooftop, I saw him perched there on the railing, his tail swinging side to side listlessly as he gazed at the grand cathedral before us. His left cat ear flicking down was the only indication that he heard my arrival.</p><p>"You've got a lovely view," he called out, still looking at the scenery.</p><p>His tail stopped swinging and I thought his still figure wouldn't be amiss amongst the lonely gargoyles at Notre Dame up ahead, lining the cityscape. But then he shook his head, breaking the tableau, his blond hair flopping about as he turned to smirk at me.</p><p>"And it's just been improved." He let go of the railing to whip out an arm and flex his right bicep. In the moonlight, his mask cast a shadow on his face. But even so, no gargoyle ever looked as finely cut as him.</p><p>…</p><p>He will never know I thought that about him.</p><p>With a roll of my eyes, I placed the tray of treats on the table. "We had cookies leftover today."</p><p>I thought he'd arch, leap and do a barrel roll from the railing to the cookies headfirst. But he just stayed there, the balls of his feet balancing on the rails, his head tilting to the side as his glowing eyes surveyed me.</p><p>"You look - ah." He hesitated and my eyes followed his gaze to my ensemble - the first date outfit, my A-line skirt fluttering in the night breeze. He gulped. "Really nice, Marinette."</p><p>Oh. I wasn't expecting that.</p><p>"You're a romantic cat," I realised out loud. "Would this outfit be okay for a first date?" My skirt twirled happily as I performed a makeshift pirouette.</p><p>"It's perfect." His smile almost looked pained. I was about to ask why when he started thanking me profusely for the hot chocolate and snacks, throwing a couple of cookies into his mouth at the same time to show his appreciation.</p><p>I could only laugh at his antics. There was the cat I knew. I walked over to my deck chair, throwing a blanket across my lap as I settled in with my mug of hot chocolate. He joined me, plonking down onto the white box beside me with his own mug and the cookie tray in tow.</p><p>"Be careful, it's hot!" I warned him as he went to take his first sip.</p><p>But he was completely fine, taking to the scalding drink like, well, like a cat takes to milk. He sighed contentedly into the steaming mug. And we sat there, in companionable silence, broken only occasionally by a sip from his end as I waited for my own beverage to cool. He interrupted a daydream involving all the ways a first date could go wrong and how Chat Noir being there instead of Luka could fix at least one of the problems when he spoke. "Thanks for taking a stray cat in."</p><p>"It's my pleasure, Chat Noir. Our family motto is to never let a visitor go hungry."</p><p>He picked up another cookie. "I like this family motto!"</p><p>"You would," I replied, fondly.</p><p>"You're the greatest, Marinette."</p><p>"Oh." I giggled. "I wouldn't go that far. My parents are amazing. I'm just really lucky, that's all."</p><p>"You make this unlucky black cat feel positively auspicious."</p><p>I chortled again and he reached for more. In between his chewing, he said, "And I happen to have it on good authority, that you really are that amazing, Miss Dupain-Cheng. I don't just mean that you're Class President, Jagged Stone album cover designer and back-up babysitter extraordinaire." He gobbled the remainder of his cookie in one bite and then started counting with his fingers. "You're also considerate of others - like that time you made sure Juleka was in the class photo. Brave, like that time you agreed to help take down Evillustrator. And you're adorable to boot. I mean, you're <em>Marimouse</em>. Need I say more?"</p><p>Despite my best efforts, I felt my cheeks flush furiously at this litany of compliments on my civilian actions from my partner. But even with my face on fire, I managed to wonder out loud. "How do you know so much about me?"</p><p>His reply was smug. "A cat has his ways."</p><p>"Ha," was my response. I studied my own hot chocolate, breathing in its thick aroma as I waited for it to cool. "Whatever." I feigned a lack of interest. And it completely worked.</p><p>He folded like cheap polyester. "Alright, alright. I heard it from one of your classmates… Adrien."</p><p>That was not a name I was expecting to hear on the eve of my first date with another boy. My mouth opened and a strangled noise came out. I took a swig of hot chocolate to try and cover the speaking malfunction (it made it worse). My eyes watered. Whilst spluttering and trying to recover, he reached over to pat my back -</p><p>"Are you alright?" he asked with concern.</p><p>I could not respond. My tongue was on fire. Like, probably third-degree burns. Might have to have it amputated. How would I ever get my first kiss if I lost my tongue?! I stuck the injured muscular organ into the cool night air in an attempt to soothe the burn. "I'm fine," I tried to say, though it may have sounded more like "l'um pine".</p><p>Chat reached over to take hold of my steaming mug. As he blew on its surface, the brown liquid rippled under his breath. He returned my hot chocolate to me with a worried smile, but all the kindness in his gesture evaporated with his next words. "Cat got your tongue, Marimouse?"</p><p>He poked his own tongue at me. I decided to grab a cookie from the tray in his lap in the hopes that a change of texture could help my tongue to recover. (It didn't.) He only chuckled in response as I pouted.</p><p>Swallowing through the crumbly pain, I got out, "Are you close to him?"</p><p>"Who?" His head tilted to the side as he considered me.</p><p>"Adrien." The way his name tasted on my burnt tongue felt like appropriate penance on the eve of a date with another guy.</p><p>"Well, I've rescued the guy a few times from akumas. He seems to be a decent fellow." Chat put a hand on his chin in the traditional thinking pose. "What do you think of him?"</p><p>When he flung the question back at me, I was unprepared to be called out. So the word vomit spewed, "I think - uh - he's very handsome"—a wheezing noise came out of Chat and I realised what I just said and wanted to snatch back my words from the still night air.</p><p>"You think so? Handsomer than me?" He waggled his eyebrows, the top of his mask dancing with the movement.</p><p>That was all the invitation I needed to warm to the topic. "Well, your face is only half showing so we can only hope that a beauty lies beneath"—he let out an indignant "Hey!" but I continued—"And as for Adrien, he's not just handsome! He's got good grades, he's athletic, he's popular. But I've also been his friend for about a year now and I wish that people could see that he's so much more than that. He's got a heart of pure gold, he cares deeply for his friends, hates to upset people and struggles to put himself first. He sees the best in absolutely everyone and believes in second chances, and third chances, and fourth chances…" Honestly, Chloe came to mind here. I went on to conclude, "He's the … noblest person I know." I sighed and then with a start, I realised I was being a massive sop. Tugging at one of my pigtails, I said, "Aw, I'm sorry, Chat. I'll stop. I'm sorry for the speech."</p><p>But he surprised me by insisting that I go on.</p><p>"Go on?" I echoed. "Haven't I prattled on long enough?" I narrowed my eyes at him. "You aren't going to tell him all this, are you?"</p><p>"Cat's honour." He made a show of placing a clawed hand over his heart. "But I gotta ask," he added, "don't you think he's a little… pathetic?"</p><p>"WHAT?" My incredulity probably woke a few pigeons nesting on the roof.</p><p>"You know, he's all cooped up alone in that big house, he's been homeschooled most of his life, so he's still pretty socially awkward and kind of lame, to be honest?"</p><p>Angrily, I slammed my mug of hot chocolate down beside me. "That's rude, Chat!"</p><p>Raising a hand to shield himself from my scowl, he exclaimed, "I didn't mean to be rude! I suppose what I was trying to say was that… I relate. To him. My home life isn't exactly… warm."</p><p>Oh.</p><p>Oh. Poor Kitty. I hadn't really thought of his home life before. Chat Noir is so vivacious and full of chaotic energy. Always up for a battle, always there with a grin, a joke and an acrobatic flip for the sheer joy of it. Could all that enthusiasm be … a front? Was Chat Noir <em>lonely</em>?</p><p>I reached across to put my hand on top of his knee and he looked up with a sharp intake of breath. His cat eyes and superpowers may have made him tough, but all I could see in the sag of his shoulders and the downward turn of his lips was someone who needed a hug.</p><p>But would that be appropriate for Marinette to give?</p><p>I wasn't sure. So I pat him softly on the knee, realising that his supersuit felt more like leather than mine did. And I tried to convey with words alone what a hug would've done so much better.</p><p>"It's okay, Chat. Adrien isn't pathetic. That he is so kind when his home life shows him no kindness is only a testament to his character. I may not know what's going on in your life, Chat, but you are amazing too."</p><p>"I—"</p><p>He placed a leather-clad hand on top of my own, but no further words were forthcoming, so I decided to lay it on a bit more.</p><p>"I follow the Ladyblog. I know how you put yourself in harm's way time and time again to protect the people of Paris and …Ladybug." I cast my eyes down and willed my face not to go red because I knew Chat Noir would be able to see it even in this dim light. "She's very lucky to have you. <em>We're</em> very lucky to have you." Flipping my hand over, I reached over to interlace his fingers with mine. Our hands stayed clasped like that and I gently squeezed his hand.</p><p>"Thank you, Marinette."</p><p>Unable to meet his gaze quite yet, I studied his gloved hands and realised he had really long and slender fingers - it wasn't just the elongating effect of the claws. "You are welcome, Chat Noir." Finding the courage to look up at him again, I added with a grin, "You are my favourite superhero, after all."</p><p>"Not Ladybug?" The top of his mask moved in sync with a presumably raised brow. "Or Viperion?</p><p>"Nope. It's this stray cat who has pounced his way into the number one spot in my heart." I squeezed his hand again for good measure. It was really nice holding his hand.</p><p>At that he grinned, two rows of perfect teeth flashing at me in his signature Chat Noir smile. Then, he planted his feet onto the ground and forced himself up. His hand slipped out of my grasp as he straightened his posture and I noticed him flex it, balling it into a tight fist before opening it again. "You've probably got a busy day tomorrow so I'll <em>leaf</em>"—with a clawed finger, he flicked a leaf on the pot plant next to him—"you to it."</p><p>He hopped onto the railing beside us. With an extravagant bow, he signed off, "Goodnight, <em>Purrincess</em>," and leapt from my balcony, into the night.</p><p>It's quite late now. But somehow, I can never bring myself to regret it when Chat stops by. Maybe I should add a cat tree to my balcony furniture decor for him to rest in. I hope he visits again soon.</p><p>Bug out!</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>TOP SECRET UPDATE: I'm working on another story that happens between the timeline of this chapter and the last... it's not essential to the storyline. Just a bit of fun! I will link it here after I've posted it. </p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The Luxury of Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dear Diary,</p><p>A black cat starred in my dreams last night, Chat Noir will be delighted to never ever know. In it, I was transformed too. And during an akuma battle, a girl in an eskimo outfit flung water at us like a whip, knocking us on top of each other.</p><p>As per usual, the sly cat took the moment of close proximity to grin down at me and look absolutely chuffed.</p><p>His elbows rested on either side of my head, and he closed his eyes and puckered his lips, leaning down towards me.</p><p>And in my dream, I did something I've never even THOUGHT about doing before.</p><p>I closed my eyes.</p><p>And I kissed him back.</p><p>And Dream Chat Noir is a damn good kisser.</p><p>AHHHH THESE ARE TRAITOROUS THOUGHTS. My Adrien! My date with Luka tonight….</p><p>Can one be blamed for their dreams? It isn't cheating if it didn't happen, right?</p><p>Cinderella is wrong. A dream is NOT a wish that your heart makes.</p><p>I'm going to have a fantastic date with Luka. We're gonna party it out at the Clara Nightingale concert - Tikki's been looking forward to it all week. It'll be great!</p><hr/><p>It <em>was</em> great.</p><p>The date was wonderful. Luka complimented my outfit - Chat Noir was right, it was perfect. Luka offered to carry me on his shoulders so I could wave my flashing phone light around to Big Bang. We were bopping along to the beats, screaming out lyrics - well, I was screaming, he was harmonising. He's got a really beautiful voice. I didn't know he was into Clara Nightingale and when I asked him, bending over to almost yell in his ear to be heard over the din of eager concert-goers he shrugged at me and replied, "You can't escape pop." Anyway, I was having a great time.</p><p>And then the familiar sound of panicking civilians in danger drew that to a stuttering halt.</p><p>An akuma rose up from a seat in the stalls.</p><p>And Clara Nightingale went from crooning about her first kiss to screaming out in terror.</p><p>Turns out some girl was upset at the seats her boyfriend got for her.</p><p>It was Ladybug time and I had to swerve away from Luka. He's really attentive so it was really hard to shake him. He followed me to the restroom to make sure I was okay. And then believed me when I told him I had stomach cramps which kept me in there for the forty minutes it took for me to defeat the akuma.</p><p>Chat Noir helped - NO KISSING INVOLVED! He came bounding into the scene pretty early on. Maybe he was at the concert too.</p><p>When I got back to Luka, one tiring battle and a "Lucky Charm!" later, he was still waiting by the bathroom, a leg raised and resting on the wall behind him, listening to some music.</p><p>And I…</p><p>I was grateful that he had waited for me.</p><p>But I felt guilty that he had to.</p><p>Guilty that this happened on our first date, and could happen at any future date.</p><p>Guilty that I could never tell him the truth behind why.</p><p>And I know deep in my heart, that it isn't fair to expect this from him. Or from me. How can the basis of a relationship be built with such a significant part of my life missing?</p><p>It reminded me of Marianne Lenoir. Whom Master Fu left behind to fulfill his duty as Guardian. Who waited more than fifty years for him. And when she finally reunited with him, at the Eurostar station in Paris, she reunited with a man who no longer even remembered who she was.</p><p>Master Fu sacrificed his love for the Miraculous.</p><p>I would do the same.</p><p>So when Luka asked whether I'd like to hang out with him again… I told him. I told him yes, but not like this. I told him that he was wonderful, that he was the most considerate person that I know and that some girl would be so lucky to be with him. But that girl could not be me. Would not be me.</p><p>He nodded, mouth crinkling into an easy smile as he offered to hug me.</p><p>(I may or may not have been crying at this point.)</p><p>(Even when I'm rejecting him he tries to comfort me.)</p><p>Luka Couffaine deserves the absolute world.</p><p>I hope he finds it. I hope he finds someone that he loves, someone who gives him their all.</p><p>Life isn't fair.</p><p>Never has being a superhero extracted such an emotional toll from me. Late nights, a flaky reputation, the pressure of a city depending on you… those all mean nothing compared to the beating organ inside my chest preparing itself to wither with disuse while I uphold the Ladybug mantle.</p><p>Love is a luxury that I can't afford.</p><p>Not with Luka. And not with… Adrien either.</p><p>Tikki's giving me really concerned looks right now. Her eyes are as big as the dot on her forehead with worry.</p><p>She just came over to me and nuzzled against my cheek.</p><p>"You're a good Guardian, Marinette," she said, patting dry the tear trails on my face. "Master Fu would be proud of you."</p><p>I hope so.</p><p>I'm trying my best.</p><p>Bug out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Looking for a Seine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You can't have a favourite chapter because that's rude to all the other chapters. So I won't tell the other chapters if you won't? Shhhhhhh</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dear Diary,</p><p>We wrapped up the field outing portion of the geography assignment today. I know that a part of me should be sad that I'll not get to hang out with Adrien anymore, but honestly? I feel a bit relieved.</p><p>It's hard to be so close to someone you're trying to squash feelings for.</p><p>It hasn't been so hard to hang out with Luka after our date attempt last week. We have weekly guitar lessons still after all. But... to be fair on my struggle with Adrien, I haven't planned out my future children, pets and next thirty-six birthdays with Luka. Haven't spent waking and sleeping hours dreaming of an entire life together. It's been entirely one-sided but I've committed a lot to my relationship with the ray of sunshine who sits in front of me in class.</p><p>All throughout today, though his lips uttered not a word on the subject, at every turn today his beautiful green eyes implored me not to give up on him. "You're so special to me." Those unfair orbs would tell me as they twinkled like we shared a delicious secret. "I love spending time with you." His gaze was like a caress. "Just the two of us." It turned into a smoulder.</p><p>Adrien Agreste may be kryptonite for millions of people who eat up his advertising but I'm no Superman.</p><p>I'm Ladybug. And I'm Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Devoted friend, maybe now also a partner (in schoolwork) but definitely not anything more.</p><p>His shoulders bumped mine more than once as we walked the streets of Paris together. The devastating combo of Adrien the fragrance plus Adrien the person followed me as his steps traced mine. He cracked jokes which made me belly laugh - which made HIM belly laugh. I also felt like he kept finding excuses to touch me - my shoulder to gain my attention, my hand to pull me along.</p><p>This boy could not have made it harder to get over him if he tried.</p><p>We got the final photographs for our geography project from the vantage point of the Eiffel Tower. I led him to my favourite platform (actually - it's where Chat and I end our patrol sometimes). Adrien loved the space, but I swore him to secrecy because it's kind of through an area you're not supposed to go in and tourists aren't allowed. I've never been caught before by staff and I'd really like to keep it that way.</p><p>Sometimes we deserve the chance to hang out together after a long day of fighting akumas and making sure the city of Paris is safe.</p><p>"We" meaning Chat Noir and Ladybug.</p><p>Not... Adrien and I.</p><p>For Adrien and I can never be.</p><p>I've been ruminating on the realisations I had in my last diary entry. The ones that prompted me to end things with Luka before anything could even begin.</p><p>No matter which way I look at it, any kind of romantic relationship with anyone while I am Ladybug wouldn't be fair to them. It wouldn't be fair that I would have to bail on them sometimes and feed them white lies - all in the name of keeping my identity a secret. It wouldn't be fair that I couldn't assuage their trust issues with the truth, for some secrets are not mine to share. And the best-kept secrets aren't shared at all. It wouldn't be fair to them that every time I did leave them, I'd be running out on them to spend time with Chat Noir. Like that time I had to kiss Chat (on the LIPS) to save him from the spell Kim's Valentine's Day cupid incarnation cursed him with.</p><p>It wouldn't be fair on them. And it wouldn't be fair on me.</p><p>So what if Adrien's golden halo of hair shines brighter than the brightest star in the universe?</p><p>So what if he mentioned to me today that he spoke to Kagami and told her that he didn't want to date her because he realised his heart had been captured by someone else a long time ago?</p><p>So what if even though there's no way that girl could be me, my stupid heart fluttered in response just knowing that he was single?</p><p>So what if he makes me happy?</p><p>There are things more important than happiness.</p><p>Like duty. And obligations. And responsibility. And safety. And sacrifice.</p><p>I'm like on a boat in the middle of an ocean holding the vessel together through sheer will alone. Me against the world. Trying to charter a course with a map that Master Fu left me with. Except the map is blank. And the boat is on fire. In my little daydream, a voice almost as familiar to me as my own calls out to me from the starboard.</p><p>"You're looking real em<em>ocean</em>al M'Lady."</p><p>Chat Noir is now there beside me.</p><p>And I suddenly realise that I'm not so alone.</p><p>It's his turn to patrol tonight.</p><p>Maybe it's time for a little bug to bug her favourite kitty.</p><hr/><p>So, I swung by. My tracker revealed his location at our Eiffel Tower spot. Somehow that didn't surprise me. Even though I introduced this spot to Adrien earlier today, this spot could only ever truly be ours.</p><p>Chat Noir looked at home in it, lying on his back with his head in his arms.</p><p>When I approached, his cat ear flicked but otherwise he didn't move.</p><p>So I settled beside him, sitting down cross-legged. Chat Noir's iridescent eyes roved over the night sky, but I admired the glimmering lights of the city.</p><p>I cleared my throat.</p><p>"How was patrol tonight, Kitty?"</p><p>"You're the best part of it." He turned and flashed me a smile.</p><p>Before I could roll my eyes at his response, he had turned his head back to gaze at the black expanse above him.</p><p>He continued, "I was really looking forward to today. I had a - well, not quite a date"—my heart thumped uncomfortably in my chest—"but a hangout with a friend today. She seemed a bit down, but I couldn't cheer her up." He peered over at me without shifting his position.</p><p>"Oh," I replied, trying not to reel from the not-a-date bombshell he dropped on me. Boy, I was the pinnacle of ineloquence. I was also quite familiar with those not-dates... Or in other words, I-wish-it-was-a-date dates. I-wish-he-would-stop-sleeping-on-my-girlfriend-potential-and-realise-that-I'm-the-one-for-him dates. But I should be happy Chat was moving on from me, right?</p><p>"How are <em>you</em> doing, M'Lady? You'd tell me if you were down, wouldn't you?" He stretched out his limbs like his namesake as he rolled over into a seated position beside me.</p><p>"Yeah," I admitted. "I would."</p><p>Nodding at me and smiling hesitantly, he reached for my hand. "Are you okay?"</p><p>I paused to collect my thoughts - the warmth of his hand on top of mine created a confusing distraction. It reminded me of the last time he visited my balcony. I couldn't feel his leather through my own suit, but I remembered the softness of it on my bare skin.</p><p>Eventually, I found my courage (it was never too hard to summon with Chat beside me and believing in me) and got to the crux of the matter. "Could you ever fall in love with a civilian when you're a superhero and have a secret identity to protect?"</p><p>"M'Lady's got <em>love troubles</em>?" He grinned as he teased me, but after a beat it slid off his face.</p><p>My eyes rolled heavenward in exasperation. Here we go.</p><p>Maybe it was a mistake opening up about the love stuff to Chat Noir.</p><p>So I went to move my hand, but before I could pull away his clawed thumb ran across the back of my hand and I stilled, suddenly not sure where my hand wanted to go anymore.</p><p>"You can't control who you fall in love with." His tone was so serious and the words sounded like they came from someone much older and wiser.</p><p>Offering me a smile, he let go of my hand, planting both palms on the ground beside him as he leaned back to return his gaze to the sky.</p><p>My hands felt empty without his to hold. I put them awkwardly in my lap.</p><p>"But you can control who you date," I pointed out. "Would you ever date a civilian?" I needed to know.</p><p>"You know I've only got eyes for you." He twisted back to wink at me and I turned away to hide my heating cheeks. His flirting would be the end of me someday. "Maybe," he added, more seriously. "If it was the right girl."</p><p>"But"— I spluttered, and it all came out, all at once— "if you dated a civilian, how would you get away for akuma attacks? What if you were on a date at the time? What if they asked questions about why you disappeared for hours every week while we patrolled? What if you couldn't answer them?" My anxieties swirled around in my chest and I clenched my fingers, digging my suit-covered fingertips into the soft flesh of my palms. But I wasn't done yet. "How could I date someone whose trust I would have to regularly break? How could I date someone when I'm unable to … trust them… with who I really am?" I buried my face in my hands in frustration. "How could I date someone who only knew half of me?"</p><p>Though I wasn't looking at him, I heard with perfect clarity what Chat said next.</p><p>"Maybe some people know you better than you think, Marinette."</p><p>And I gasped.</p><p>I gasped as I heard my name roll off his tongue.</p><p>Turning to face him, I noted he had shifted positions. Now he had one arm resting on a knee and he was looking at me imploringly.</p><p>Chat Noir knew who I was.</p><p>He knew exactly who I was.</p><p>"H - Ho - ow-" My voice broke as I stuttered. I shook my head. I realised where that sentence was going and I wasn't sure I was ready to hear the answer.</p><p>I stood up.</p><p>"Ladybug," he called out after me. "I'm sorry, wait!"</p><p>But I couldn't wait.</p><p>"Don't you want to know who I am?" His yell followed me as I flung myself into the sky, my yoyo unfurling ahead of me to catch my fall, the lights of the Eiffel Tower dimming behind me as I raced home.</p><p>I didn't answer him then, but I'll answer him here.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>Yes, Chat Noir. I want to know who you are.</p><p>I want to know who lies beneath your mask.</p><p>My superhero partner whose hands I trust with my own life.</p><p>Whose smile never fails to be contagious.</p><p>Whose ridiculousness has somehow been penetrating my defences and infiltrating my brain with thoughts of you that I cannot bring myself to wish away.</p><p>You are the one and only person that perhaps I can truly be myself with. Who understands the burden and blessing of wielding a Miraculous.</p><p>Who has been with me since the beginning of the journey.</p><p>Who I won't have to keep secrets from.</p><p>But Chat, when you said my name, it reminded me of the only other time I have heard you say it. And your suit was white.</p><p>And our love destroyed the world.</p><p>I don't know what to do.</p><p>Oh, Chat Noir.</p><hr/><p>Tikki just landed on my shoulder. She says I should go to sleep soon. Her chipper voice was all, "Being tired is a problem you don't need tomorrow and something you CAN do about today."</p><p>But it's so late, it's now early and my worry has worried holes in the page as I've drawn spirals. In art class, we learnt about art therapy and spirals are supposed to help us to think. I've got four pages full of them now. Four pages of spirals and the supposed endlessness of them still hasn't helped me to feel unstuck. What else did they teach in art therapy? To draw a picture of myself to help me understand my feelings?</p><p>I'll try that tomorrow. For now— wow, yawns are punctuating my sentences now— Tikki's right.</p><p>Let me just… finish this drawing of Chat. I left him crying out for me tonight. I want to see his smiling face again before I sleep.</p><p>Bug out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Analyse and Agonise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Of all my babies in Purrincess Diaries, this chapter is a chubster at more than 4k words! DID YOU GUESS HOW HE FIGURED IT OUT CORRECTLY? I loved hearing people's theories! Stay tuned for the final chapter next week - an epilogue.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dear Diary,</p><p>So, school's awful.</p><p>Shouldn't be surprising, considering how little I slept last night.</p><p>Luckily I wasn't the only one tired. I was just dozing off when Ms. Mendeleiev yelled at Adrien, who had apparently dozed off onto his notebook ahead of me.</p><p>She announced her displeasure by shouting, "HOW DARE YOU FALL ASLEEP IN MY CLASS?" and let's just say that certainly shook me awake.</p><p>Poor Adrien, he looked like he needed the rest.</p><p>Now it's lunchtime and instead of napping like a sane person, I'm analysing and agonising in my diary.</p><p>…</p><p>Okay. So, Adrien Agreste just sidled down next to me on the lunch table (together with a lunch so lean I automatically halved my raspberry and pear muffin which he accepted gratefully) and I had to shut my diary quick smart.</p><p>"Are you okay, Marinette?"</p><p>"Me?!" I replied. "I should be asking YOU that! You must be really tired to fall asleep in class."</p><p>At this, he flushed and scratched the back of his head. "I suppose you caught that."</p><p>"Mendeleiev's yell actually woke me up too."</p><p>"You didn't sleep well last night either?"</p><p>Adrien Agreste is so caring and considerate. Concerned about my sleeping habits and health. He's so sweet.</p><p>"No." There was a spot on the table that suddenly looked very interesting. "I had a bit of a rough day yesterday."</p><p>Adrien's fringe fell across his forehead as he tilted his head. "Would you like to talk about it?" And then strangely his flush deepened. "Not that you have to tell me anything! It's totally up to you!"</p><p>He's so adorable when he's flustered. He reminds me of—</p><p>Ah. Let's not finish that thought.</p><p>I shook my head. "It's a bit complicated." My nose may have scrunched up at this point.</p><p>He nodded. "Yeah, don't worry about it. I just want to be here for you. However you need."</p><p>Then he grabbed my hand and a lesser Marinette (of say, three or four weeks ago) would have YELPED and/or never washed it again. However, Marinette of today was cool as a cucumber - with a hint of watermelon only in her cheeks (but that's a very refreshing combination so definitely still a success).</p><p>I think he was grabbing my hand to profess his sincerity.</p><p>But before I could analyse whether the appropriate time limit for platonic hand holding had ticked over to romantic territory (which would have been BAD and NOT MY INTENTION AT ALL), lunch ended with the ring of a bell and with a smiley "see you around", he pulled his hand away.</p><p>Past Marinette would have spent the next SEVENTEEN pages of this diary squealing with glee.</p><p>But Marinette of today wishes it was Chat Noir who was holding her hand.</p><p>I owe him an apology.</p><p>And I have so many questions.</p><hr/><p>During solo patrol this evening the questions running around in my mind all day coalesced into sensible thoughts. I need to write them down!</p><p>Bunnyx dropped into my timeline when I signed my name on Adrien's fifth-name gift. Because somehow me signing my name there led to Chat Noir getting akumatized and Chat Blanc knowing my secret identity.</p><p>But, more importantly, she dropped in at that exact moment, because that action I did changed her world.</p><p>Changed all of the worlds in the multiverse.</p><p>So, I suppose that means that if I'd done something so terrible (like give away my secret identity and destroy the future), I could probably trust Future Bunnyx to hop back into my timeline and help me to fix it.</p><p>It's been just over 24 hours since Chat Noir said my name and my day's been suspiciously Bunnyx free.</p><p>What can I draw from this?</p><p>That whatever I did to have him figure out my identity wasn't as bad as signing my name on Adrien's gift.</p><p>That so far, it's okay for Chat to know who I am.</p><p>Yes. This makes sense. Especially now that it's inked on paper like an irrefutable fact.</p><p>But can I know who Chat Noir is?</p><p>I'm the Guardian.</p><p>Master Fu knew both of our identities.</p><p>But it was my carelessness with secret identities that led to his capture, to his amnesia, and to me being the Guardian.</p><p>I can't make the same mistake.</p><p>I have to be <em>super</em> careful.</p><p>But HAVEN'T I been? I'm careful where and when I transform. I'm careful with the routes I take back to my balcony, making sure to vary them each time. I'm carefully consistent with my stance on no identity reveal, even though I know it would mean the world to Chat. The only clue for my identity is my diary - which I always carry on my person - and Sabrina proved that nobody can break into it.</p><p>So the only person who could read it, besides me, would be someone who had another kwami's help.</p><p>All the kwami's live in my bedroom.</p><p>Except for one.</p><p>But even if Plagg helped unlock the secret diary, the miraculous holder would have to have ACCESS to my diary.</p><p>So it couldn't be Chat…</p><p>Not unless—</p><hr/><p>Sorry about that.</p><p>Just needed a brief intermission.</p><p>And by brief, I mean forty-three minutes.</p><p>I've been screaming and freaking and screaming and freaking some more and my cat pillow doesn't have ears, but if Mr. Tiger did they would be SHOT.</p><p>ABSOLUTELY SHOT.</p><p>LIKE MY HEAD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE WHAT. IS. GOING. ON?!</p><p>WHAT IS THIS?</p><p>WHAT DO I DO?</p><p>Tikki just fluttered by (for the fifth time, but who's counting?!) since I screamed and threw my diary away like a ticking time bomb.</p><p>Ha.</p><p>That's stupid.</p><p>The only thing exploding right now is my brain.</p><p>BECAUSE ONE LOOK AT MY DIARY IN A FAR FLUNG CORNER OF MY ROOM AND TIKKI KNEW WHAT WAS UP.</p><p>SHE KNEW AND THEN I KNEW I WAS RIGHT BECAUSE I COULD JUST SEE IT ON HER ITTY BITTY FACE.</p><p>ADRIEN!</p><p>ADRIEN IS—</p><p>"How are you taking it?" She flew in close to me and nuzzled against my cheek, which I didn't realise had become wet during the whole kerfuffle. Sometimes when I'm feeling a lot of emotion, it just leaks out of my eyes.</p><p>Adrien is Chat Noir.</p><p>Chat Noir is Adrien.</p><p>My flirtatious kitty is the same person I have spent a whole year too shy to talk to.</p><p>(I AM AN IDIOT SANDWICH!)</p><p>My supermodel classmate has a terrible sense of humour. And a streak for exhibitionism which kind of makes sense actually.</p><p>(How could I have been so blind?!)</p><p>He visited me on my balcony!</p><p>(I literally see him every day.)</p><p>He told me his home life was lonely...</p><p>(This breaks my heart twice as much now.)</p><p>He talked about himself in third person.</p><p>(The cheek!)</p><p>And yesterday, when he called out my name and I left him standing there on the Eiffel Tower... he revealed that he knew who I was.</p><p>"Is it okay?" My voice came out like a jagged whisper - it takes a while for vocal cords to recover from screaming apparently. "Are we...ready?"</p><p>"Oh, Marinette!" Tikki threw her little arms up in the air and clasped them together like a merry mother hen. "You've figured it out for yourself! This is the only way to be ready."</p><p>"Did I even draw the right conclusion? I mean, what if I'm wrong?"</p><p>Tikki eyed the hatch to my balcony cheekily. "Well, there's one way to find out."</p><p>I followed her gaze, wiped my brow and took a deep breath. "Tikki, spots on!"</p><hr/><p>His window was open.</p><p>And now that makes a lot of sense.</p><p>How often have I seen Chat gallivanting about at night? How often does he stop by my balcony? When he's probably supposed to be sleeping or studying Chinese or practicing the piano or any of the hundred million things Adrien Agreste does on a daily basis.</p><p>I saw from my vantage point opposite his house that he wasn't in bed yet.</p><p>But I heard what he was doing before I saw it.</p><p>Strands of music floated through the air like a living thing, curling up towards me like a cat, calm and comforting with its presence.</p><p>It's safe to say I'm not very musical. (Case in point: My weekly guitar fails with Luka.) So, I don't know the how's or what's when it comes to creating sound like this. What I can say though is that I've never heard anything so beautiful in my life. The melody stopped and started, reminding me of a lullaby, its soothing rhythm like waves rocking against the shore. I had no idea my kitty was capable of such tenderness, such vulnerability.</p><p>Low notes added a new dimension to the high. As he went on playing, I went on listening, and the music got louder and louder, growing to a climax before a set of notes repeated three – no, four – times. Each trill like the first flurry of raindrops to hit the ground before the storm.</p><p>Silence followed.</p><p>And I held my breath.</p><p>Then, his fingers flew across the keys, bringing forth a flood of music. They must've known where to go next before even landing, with the way each note melted together. The sound was vibrant, alive, passionate, and my breath was in my throat as it climbed ever higher. Then, just as it reached an almost dizzying height, the notes slowed, plinked almost lazily as the song tapered to a quiet close.</p><p>He sighed.</p><p>And the keys clashed as he splayed his forearms across them and nestled his head within.</p><p>It was now or never.</p><p>With my yoyo, I flew toward his window, perching in a tentative crouch on its frame.</p><p>Tinkling notes rustled as he adjusted his position, but he didn't look my way.</p><p>"Adrien?"</p><p>The piano clanked as he hoisted his head from his arms and spun around to face me.</p><p>"Ladybug, I - hi," he got out.</p><p>"Do you mind if I come in?"</p><p>Nodding, he gestured to his room. I hopped down and walked up to his piano.</p><p>"What was that?" Awe coloured my voice.</p><p>"Oh, you heard that? It's Debussy."</p><p>My look must've betrayed my ignorance.</p><p>His eyes sunk to the piano. "Claude Debussy was a French composer at the turn of the nineteenth century." His fingers traced the keys in a solemn solo pilgrimage as he rehashed a small part of that beautiful melody. "The piece is called Clair de Lune."</p><p>My eyes darted between his fingers and my feet. "It sounds nice."</p><p>I can't believe that's all I said about the music when it literally took my breath away. Why do the flowery words of a beautiful compliment never come when you want them to?</p><p>Adrien shrugged, "My mother loved to listen to me play it." With a soft clunk, he pulled the piano cover down over its keys. "So, uh"—he turned to me—"what're you doing here, Ladybug?"</p><p>My mouth opened, but no sound came out. I should've planned my speech with Tikki before I transformed. I knew I was forgetting something. Like how he had a knack for turning me into a tongue-tied mess. (I was on the road to recovery, but every addict has a relapse, okay?)</p><p>"Is everything alright?" His voice was softer this time and as he spoke, he ran a hand through his blond hair. It looked dishevelled, like he'd been fiddling with it a lot, and now he... he looked... just like Chat Noir.</p><p>Maybe I was a mess around Adrien. But I was also Ladybug. And this was Chat. I could do it.</p><p>As I gathered my courage, a checklist flashed through my head of all the things I needed to tell him.</p><p>So I began.</p><p>By taking a tentative step towards him.</p><p>"I need to talk to you."</p><p>"Me?" He gestured to himself, a faint flush spreading from the top of his cheeks to the tip of his ears, now exposed by his messy hair.</p><p>Chat Noir's in love with Ladybug. Or had been. Before Kagami. Or something. My own cheeks warmed with that realisation. "Yeah. You."</p><p>He straightened his posture on the piano bench as I approached.</p><p>"Adrien Agreste, who Wikipedia would tell you has a birthday on the 25th of September, is a breakout young star of a supermodel for his father, Gabriel Agreste. He was homeschooled up until last year, when he started at Collège Françoise Dupont. He's a fencing champion, an accomplished pianist, and can even speak Mandarin."</p><p>As I drew closer, Adrien stumbled to his feet, and I went from eyeing the top of his unruly locks to being at eye level with a plain, black shirt. "You - You've read my Wikipedia page?"</p><p>I winced a little. I've not only read it, I'm one of the main contributors - but I didn't tell him that. Instead, I said, "The internet has a lot of facts about you, but let me tell you some things I know about Adrien Agreste." I took a deep breath. "He's not just a pretty face."</p><p>"You think I'm pretty?" This made him smile and it was so precious, so <em>Chat Noir</em>-esque, I had to bite my lip to stay focused.</p><p>"The whole world knows you're pretty. 'Perfection personified' - that's what the magazines say. Like a master sculptor saw a vision of an angel and decided to recreate it in your face. But I know the real you, and I know you're far from perfect."</p><p>His head dipped forward and his eyes flicked away, both seeming heavy with a shame that was so, SO needless.</p><p>"As you should be!" I rushed to add. "Perfection is a lie. The best thing about Adrien Agreste that no magazine or website could ever know is actually how wonderfully <em>imperfect</em> you are. Your failures mean that you never stop trying. You're so diligent. You work so hard to make the people you care about happy. You'd do anything for the people you love."</p><p>I dared to reach out to him, dared to brush his arm with the tips of my fingers, and let them trail down his arm to his hand. My courage could only go so far though, so I went to pull back but he caught my hand in his fingers, barring its retreat. The red and black of my suit was striking against his bare skin, and as he gently stroked the latex layer around my knuckles, I wondered if his thoughts were akin to my own those many nights ago—when I'd felt the leather of his suit, my own fingers bare.</p><p>"I also know you're lonely sometimes"—I squeezed his hand—"but you don't have to be anymore."</p><p>"You're right," Adrien breathed, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "You do know me."</p><p>He squeezed right back.</p><p>"Kitty"—his eyes darted to mine—"I want to be here for you, like you've always been there for me. As my partner. In geography. In battle. Suit or no suit."</p><p>Closing my eyes, I reached up on my tippy toes to kiss his cheek. And that kiss cheek marked the end of the on-the-fly speech I'd concocted on my way to his piano bench.</p><p>As I backed away, his hand travelled to his cheek and he stared right at me. Those green eyes - the same stunning shade as Chat Noir's - were wide as we ventured into unchartered territory.</p><p>"You know who I am?"</p><p>I nodded.</p><p>"How?" He was breathless.</p><p>"Because you read my diary." I shied away from his gaze, my voice a little lower "You figured <em>me</em> out." But then I raised my head to meet his gaze square on. "You ignored the warning on the front page!"</p><p>He blanched. "Look, I - uh. I'm sorry. I can explain."</p><p>Alas for him, I had found my voice and was just getting started. And as per usual, I vomited words.</p><p>"Chat Noir - I mean - Adrien - I mean, you're Chat Noir and you're Adrien, so I'm speaking to both of you right now…" (This would take some getting used to.) "You're cheeky. Insufferably vain. A shameless flirt. And your comedic timing is terrible!" I scoffed and found myself really warming to the subject.</p><p>But he was looking at me like I was a plate of freshly baked passionfruit macarons and it changed my intended pitch.</p><p>"You're reckless and unnecessarily self-sacrificing ... but despite or maybe even because of all these flaws, you're the perfect partner for me."</p><p>"You're perfect for me too." He grinned, unrepentantly.</p><p>And I couldn't bring myself to stay mad at him for reading my diary! I've said it before, puppies ain't got nothing on this kitty. Whether he's got his ears on or not, it's <em>devastating.</em></p><p>My heartbeat echoed loudly in my ears as he stepped closer to me. So close I could breathe him in. So close I had to look up to find his eyes. His eyes which were looking at me with an expression I haven't seen so clearly on Adrien's face, though its masked rendition is as familiar to me as the rustic red of our beloved Eiffel Tower.</p><p>"Marinette?" I think I could learn to enjoy hearing him say my name while I'm suited up. "I have a favour to ask."</p><p>"Anything."</p><p>"Will you de-transform for a second? I'd like to see your whole face."</p><p>My heart melted at his request. I complied with the ritual words, Tikki appeared beside me, and with a quick "I'll be with Plagg", she darted out of view.</p><p>Reaching towards me, Adrien gently cupped my cheek, his fingers curling through my loose hair. Because it was Adrien, not just Chat, who told me I looked "purretty" with my hair down. And I wanted to look pretty for him. However, I had NOT taken into consideration an unsuiting. Many regrets were had over wearing pyjamas (not even a CUTE pair, an embarrassing pink set). But then I realised he'd seen me in this gear quite regularly when he hung out on my balcony and didn't someone famous once say if you can't accept me as a mess you don't deserve me as a princess? Something like that.</p><p>"You know Chat Noir loves Ladybug. I've told you so, so many times." An embarrassed grin crept onto his face. "But you know, I realised, as soon as I knew that it was you, that I had always felt something special for you, Marinette. It was like something clicked into place. And I couldn't get you out of my head. That's why I had to visit you on your balcony the night before your date with Luka. And"—he paused to chuck a hand behind his head and scratch at the nape of his neck—"I might have followed you to the Clara Nightingale concert." My jaw went slack. We needed to have a talk about privacy and boundaries—but he quickly continued, "But it's kind of a good thing I did because there was an akuma!"</p><p>That was a good point. We'll have that chat another day.</p><p>"So, what I'm trying very badly to say," he soldiered on, "is that I don't just love Ladybug. I love you, Marinette. I want to be together. I want to be with you always. With and without the mask."</p><p>But I remembered Chat Blanc and my breath caught in my throat.</p><p>I could see it now. Against a wasted landscape of destruction, a solitary tear traveling down his pale cheek. A maniacal glint in his eye as he reached for my earrings, fought me, threw an infinite amount of cataclysms at me. He said our love destroyed the world. How could something that felt so right lead to something so wrong?</p><p>"Adrien, I - I love you too." I leaned into his hand, finding comfort in its tender touch on my cheek. "But you need to know something. You were akumatized once. And you knew my identity then. I want to be with you too, but..."</p><p>I couldn't finish my sentence. Embarrassingly, I felt the urge to cry. The mask was no longer there to hide my red, splotchy face. With a gentle caress, he wiped away the tears heavy enough to fall against my will.</p><p>I took a deep breath. "I'm scared." Burying my face in his shirt, I tried to find refuge in his warm embrace. I'd been experiencing it for only a second, but already the thought of living without it was more than I could bear.</p><p>"Marinette." He patted the top of my head; it reminded me of when he first dubbed me <em>Marimouse </em>and I complained that he was the cat. "As long as we're together, you know we can do anything. I may not know what happened, but I promise you, you won't have to face that again. We've got each other."</p><p>"Really?" I wanted so much to believe him.</p><p>A nasal voice chipped in. "Of course, kid! Bunnyx would've crashed this party long ago if that were going to be the case." The little black creature named Plagg rolled his eyes. "<em>Obviously</em>."</p><p>Beside him, Tikki's red form bobbed her head once in agreement and my heart leapt with hope. "Don't stress, Marinette! This is happening in the right time frame. Oh, I do love it when little bugs and kitties fall in love!" She clasped her hands together and squealed while Plagg made a "yeugh" face, which made me laugh.</p><p>Adrien sat back down on his piano bench, pulling me with him.</p><p>My eyes lit up. "Are you going to play again?"</p><p>He laughed. "I can if you like! But later. Because first," and he said this almost apologetically, "if you're quite okay with it, I'm going to kiss you."</p><p>My cheeks betrayed me, flaring as red as my supersuit. "I might be terrible at it."</p><p>"Nah." He flashed a cheeky grin. "I've pored over the Ladynoir kissing footage. You're very good at it."</p><p>I was still laughing in a startled kind of way by his admission when his lips met mine.</p><p>This wasn't our first kiss.</p><p>But it was my favourite.</p><p>Up until the next one, because when he kissed me again, I tasted the next eighty years of my life.</p><p>And when he kissed me the third time that night (hey - a girl's gotta count her first kisses, okay?), that time, I figured out I should kiss him back and when I did, he let out a little happy sigh and clutched a fistful of my hair. Not in a way that hurt, but in a way that allowed him to guide me even closer.</p><p>I had counted seventeen more kisses—some short, some lingering and yet each more delightful than the last—when exaggerated coughing pulled us apart.</p><p>Plagg was there, right in front of our faces, his little paws folded against his chest.</p><p>He flew towards Adrien's face and my eyes followed his journey to focus not on him, but on Adrien's gorgeous lips which were pulled into the corniest smile.</p><p>Exaggerated coughing brought my eyes (unwillingly) back to Plagg. "Look. When I opened the diary for the kid, I made him promise he wouldn't do any of this gross stuff in my presence."</p><p>And that killed the mood entirely.</p><p>Adrien groaned. "Firstly, you opened it on your own accord. Don't make me look bad in front of Marinette! Secondly, I made no such promise. Thirdly, come ON! Plagg, you come with me everywhere!" The sentence ended with a world-famous Adrien Agreste pout.</p><p>It was ineffective.</p><p>"You should've thought of that before you made your promise."</p><p>"Plagg!" Tikki's high voice scolded. "You can't make Adrien promise that. Marinette and Adrien are in love! Physical intimacy is an important part of any healthy relationship. How else will they have little bugs and little kittens?"</p><p>And there was Papa's flaming legacy on my face. The Dupain emotional thermometer flaring up yet again.</p><p>Adrien beside me wasn't doing too well either. He was coughing up a storm. Concerned, I started to whack the back of his chest, only for him to cry out in pain.</p><p>"SORRY!" I yelped.</p><p>"It's"—he was choking, he was honest to god choking. He'd been my boyfriend for all of sixty seconds and he could be dying—"fine." He wheezed as he caught his breath.</p><p>I gave Tikki a reproachful look and received a repentant one in turn. Plagg, all the while, looked absolutely delighted.</p><hr/><p>Oh! Look at the time! It's so late already. I can't be having TWO nights with poor sleep. Adrien and I promised that we'd turn in as soon as possible after I got home. He didn't want me to be yelled at by Ms. Mendeleiev. Plus, Mr. Agreste had heard about the incident from school and Adrien was on the verge of big trouble.</p><p>Why, Mr. Agreste?</p><p>Why does talent, genius, meanness, and neglectful parenting have to be melded so closely together in one terrible man?</p><p>But if he was partially responsible at least for the creation of Adrien, I suppose I can't be too mad.</p><p>Adrien… My boyfriend (!).</p><p>If I could summarise how I left his bedroom earlier, I would say I left it with very appreciated lips. I'd suited up in preparation for my imminent departure and pecked him on the cheek as a goodbye kiss.</p><p>"I will never get sick of that." He grinned at me almost wolfishly. Or should I say cattishly?</p><p>Luckily for him, I feel the same way.</p><p>With happiness so incandescent I'm sure it would be burned permanently onto all of my features, I waved from the windowsill. "Bye Adrien! Bye Plagg!"</p><p>"Bye Ladybug!" they chorused with different levels of enthusiasm.</p><p>Today has been the most perfect day of my life.</p><p>CAN I EVEN SLEEP TONIGHT?</p><p>Life's too wonderful to miss any of it sleeping.</p><p>If I do sleep, I hope I dream and if I dream, I hope it's of him.</p><p>Bug out!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Epilogue - Two Halves Make a Whole</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dear Diary,</p><p>I'm sitting in geography class. We're listening to everyone's presentations. Alya and Nino did a very cool thing. They investigated the growth of opera houses in Paris. Marrying Alya's investigative skills (and lifelong obsession with a certain phantom) with Nino's appreciation for music was evidently a no-brainer. Their presentation was AWESOME. The backdrop to their investigation was a remix of famous opera and musical pieces that Nino did. I want Rodger and Hammerstein's Cinderella to be the soundtrack to MY LIFE.</p><p>It's so cool to see how well Alya and Nino fit together both professionally and personally. Their easy banter as they went back and forth in the presentation was golden. The class was in stitches! On the other hand, I've been together with Adrien for one week and though my stutter is pretty much gone (seeing a boy greet the sidewalk with his face and walk away grinning from the experience does something to you. Like how can I stutter around a dork like that?), sometimes I catch him looking at me and I blush, and he catches me noticing him looking at me and then he blushes and then there we are, standing there like two blushing pilgrims.</p><p>Just like Romeo's lips as he waits for Juliet to kiss him.</p><p>Or wants her to kiss him.</p><p>Now I'm thinking about kissing Adrien Agreste.</p><p>Good thing it's Chloe's presentation going on right now. I absolutely do not need to pay attention. And this particular fantasy of mine requires the utmost attention and careful study of the profile of the wonderful boy seated next to me.</p>
<hr/><p>AHHHHH, ADRIEN JUST PULLED MY DIARY TOWARDS HIM, TURNED THE PAGE, AND STARTED WRITING. I have to rearrange the pages so it makes chronological sense.</p><p>Oh the things this boy makes me do.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>Hey. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Imagine my best smoulder. That look accompanies this "Hey" and you must only imagine it - for unleashing it in geography class would have dire consequences.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Pfffffft, I'm sure we would survive.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Would we?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Your face says otherwise.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I TAKE IT BACK. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I AM NOT SURVIVING. </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>You're so adorable when you're flustered, Purrincess. My cool lady all aflame with emotion. </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm going to let that terrible cat pun slide exactly once. Though I admire your temperature wordplay. </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Your furreckles really stand out when you blush!</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>STOP. THE PUNS. PLEASE.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>I want to count them yowl.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You'll never run out of cat puns, will you?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Nefur. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>And also eleven.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You've got eleven freckles.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Do you really hate my cat puns? Because you say you do, but I see you smiling. You're very contradictory. </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes.</em>
</p><p>…</p><p>
  <em>No?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>The proof is in the pudding!</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Hahaha.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They're just so dorky. </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Well, that's on brand then. </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Alright, maybe I do like them. But it's your terrible influence! You are lowering my standard of humour. </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>That's what boyfriends are for. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>And for teaming up with in school projects! So save those bedroom eyes for later, Meow Lady. We've got our presentation next!</strong>
</p>
<hr/><p>Okay, so we've just finished the presentation.</p><p>It went well!</p><p>I only got lost in his eyes ONCE, but it was during his speaking part, so I'm pretty sure we were all lost in his eyes at that point.</p><p>I also feel the need to let the record show that the "bedroom eyes" he spoke of might have been because I was getting misty over the "boyfriend" comment (I still get soft whenever I remember we're together-TOGETHER). And "bedroom eyes" was definitely hyperbole.</p><p>I'd call it more: soft eyes.</p><p>"I love you" eyes.</p><p>"I love you intensely" eyes.</p><p>"I can't wait to bear your children" eyes.</p><p>All completely normal behaviour for our one-week anniversary.</p><p>So, now that the record is clear, this time, I was the one that turned a new page to start a conversation. (Sorry, Mylene and Alix! I'm sure your presentation is great!)</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>Hey Adrien, let's work together for group assignments more often! We make a great team.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>The very best.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>In the daytime and at night. If you know what I mean.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Marinette! First with the bedroom eyes, and now with the bedroom talk?</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>OMG ADRIEN AGRESTE. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I AM TRYING TO BE DISCREET HERE.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>I think even the teacher noticed you thumping your diary onto my side of the desk just then. Please teach me your stealthy ways. </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>What did I do to deserve you?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>You fed me cookies and milk and now you'll never be rid of me!</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Are you so easily bought?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>No, but I've found my home. It's with you. </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Aww. That's kind of sweet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And you're right. We're great partners. The world already knows our special … night time activities … make a great partnership. Now the world will find out that Adrien Agreste and Marinette Dupain-Cheng are also an unbeatable force!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Our names do have a nice ring to it put together like that. </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>What if we combine them? Like…. Marinette Agreste!</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>You DO NOT KNOW what seeing your last name attached to mine IN YOUR HANDWRITING does to me. (I'm gonna need a tissue.)</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>I think you'll find that I do know. (Here are some aloe vera scented ones.)</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I forgot you're a sneak. (They're Hello Kitty tissues! So adorable. Thank you.)</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>I maintain that I live with a sneak and I'm just collateral to his insatiable curiosity. (You are very welcome). </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sorry for making you cry, Marinette. </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>These DO NOT count! They are happy tears!</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>At the risk of making it worse… One day, I really do want you to be an Agreste. Or I can be a Dupain-Cheng! Or our names can be exactly the same, but rings on our fingers will showcase to the world our special vows. One thing's certain: You'll be mine and I'll be yours. One day, I'll ask you properly and you'll have to pretend to be surprised because I'm afraid I have totally jumped the gun and revealed all my cards at once. I can't keep secrets from you! </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I'M SO GLAD I HAVE TISSUES RIGHT NOW.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>ADRIEN AGRESTE, I'M IN GEOGRAPHY CLASS.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>THE TEARS KEEP ON COMING. </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>I'M SORRY! ALSO okay, I have one more secret. I can't hold it in. I was thinking I should save it for a romantic occasion, but I'll do the romantic occasion later. Truth now. I LOVE YOU!</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>You're telling me you love me via my own diary?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>I take it back. You are undeserving.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>NOOOO, Adrien, Adrien, Adrien! I love you too! Don't take it back, please?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Would you like to skip the next presentation with me? I'm sure Ms. Bustier won't mind our absence! I'm pretty sure Alya has fallen asleep on Nino's shoulder there. Our "I love you" declaration deserves a moment to celebrate.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>What, like cry akuma? </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>I've always thought you usually lost your phone and had to look for it whenever I needed to get away for akuma attacks.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I always thought your father scheduled you for an awful lot of school hour modelling for someone who is in school.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Some of that is real. </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Fair.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>So, want to stage a discreet exit stage left?</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>The great goody-two-shoes Adrien Agreste is seriously proposing to truant? </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>The great goody-two-shoes Adrien Agreste is an expert at flouncing the restrictions lesser people try to impose on him! </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I've said it before and I'll say it again: you're a bad influence on me.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>AND he's an expert at not getting caught.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Let's do it.</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>I'm almost embarrassed at how quickly I was convinced. He's my ONE weakness. I swear. This boy.</p><p>But of course, fate is ironic and all-knowing. I'd just psyched myself up to truant, an excuse on the tip of my tongue, when some sort of hybrid yawn-cry from Alya tore through the classroom.</p><p>"AN AKUMA AT SCHOOL!" she screamed out, going from just-woke-up to who-needs-coffee in .2 seconds. (As usual, the excited glint in her eye belied no concern towards her personal safety.)</p><p>I looked at Adrien wryly. Served us right for planning to jig. At least our pre-planned excuses came in handy. Our hands shot up simultaneously. "Ms. Bustier!"</p><p>"—I've got a modelling shoot I forgot about. I'll travel safely - my driver is picking me up, don't worry."</p><p>"—I left my phone in my locker and my parents will want to know I'm safe!"</p><p>The teacher nodded with a slight sigh. And we sprung.</p><p>The akuma was easy peasy: a student who'd disagreed with an essay mark. With the FULL FORCE of Ladybug and Chat Noir in sync, it took no time at all to calm her down and conquer her essay-turned-paper-sentimonster with wire and a loose locker door. And, if after the superheroing was completed so effectively, it left a little time for me to sneak away with my fancy leather pants boyfriend and enjoy our first declaration of love to each other in a leisurely manner… well, then so be it.</p><p>I love my kitty.</p><p>And he loves me.</p><p>And from one beetle to another: love is all you need.</p><p>Bug out!</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is it! The end! Thanks so much to those who followed along with the journey, I loved hearing your feedback and theories as it went along! This fandom is the NICEST - we are so blessed.</p><p>Also, I started this fic with a thank you to Captain Meowvel and I have to end it with a thank you too. IT'S A THANK YOU SANDWICH! She pored over each chapter carefully AND she makes writing fun. Her comments make me cry with laughter. She's an incredible beta, and an even better friend. (And also a great writer!)</p><p>I also feel the need to shout out my long-suffering friend readerbonafide who is moving to France next month. She listens to my stories when they're still a seedling of an idea. She catches ALL of my references - even the obscure musical ones. (If you were thinking Marinette's speech to Adrien in chapter 9 sounded suspiciously like a scene in Waitress, you'd be correct). Anyway, readerbonafide, you'll help me make my characters more authentically, French, yeah? HAHA. I promise to write more fanfiction to help you feel right at home in your new city!</p><p>I'm sure I'll be back with more stories in the future, but this is the end of the Purrincess Diaries arc. I hope you enjoyed my take on a realistic ship destruction (buh-BYE Lukanette and Adrigami) and the collapse of the love square into a relationship that they both deserve!</p><p>As always, leave me a comment and tell me what you think, it'll make my day!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This story took me MONTHS. Learning to write fic in diary format was honestly a struggle bus journey. But I couldn't pass on the opportunity. Please enjoy the fruit of my labour. And if you wanna throw some feedback at me via a comment, you know it would make my day :'D</p></blockquote></div></div>
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